People are born, they become children, they become adolescents, they become adults and age. Each period has some unique crises. With the solution of these, preparation for the next stage begins. People who have survived the crises in a healthy way in a healthy way, usually, people who have come to the age of adulthood often have the signs of maturity brought by age to a great extent. On the other hand, these crises are heavier and traumatic for some people. Despite the progress of their age, the problems that they cannot survive and solve their solutions continue to grow with them and cause them to be stuck at that time and cause them to reach the level of maturity necessary even if they are adults.
When a person is a parent; it means the responsibility of another person other than himself. In order to fulfill the requirements of this responsibility, he must have reached sufficient maturity. Just as it is not possible for a child to raise another child, it is not possible for a parent to raise children in a healthy way. At this point, the concept of immature parent emerges. Seeing the child as a tool that will meet his own needs, not seeing his needs or ignoring his needs, not being able to empathize with the child, waiting for him to behave like an adult and attracting children into adult problems (for example, including the child's disputes with his wife), to put the child a great responsibility for his age (for example For example, our brother, the house care, etc.) In short, we can think of every behavior that will prevent the child from doing childhood as immature parenting.
What happens when a child lives with an immature parent? As a child, their needs are not met steadily (often needed love, interest, but this can sometimes be very basic needs such as housing and nutrition). The child cannot feel that he is loved only because he exists and he is himself, and learns that he can take love from his parents under certain conditions.
In an environment where his needs are not met, the child slowly cuts his hope that the parent meets his needs and begins to develop skills to make himself sufficient. For example, even at a very young age, he tries to meet the need for nutrition, cooks at home, cleans, and has to devote the energy that he needs to devote to playing games into more vital needs. Sometimes there are times when the parent cannot even meet his own needs and that the child tries to meet his needs. The biggest example of this is that the parent continuously transfers the need for loved and acceptance to the child. This need forces the child to meet this need as a responsibility and constantly try to satisfy him, leaving the child in a position where he cannot give up being with him and being with him. Thus, the concept of early ripened child emerges. When they grow up, these children turn into adults who take care of everything on their own, take over responsibility, cannot ask for help, try to satisfy people extremely extremely, or take on the role of “savior”. They have a pattern of a relationship with their parents, both conflicting and disagreement.
It is difficult to mature early, every child deserves to live his childhood, but sometimes life does not progress as it should be, and there are differences between those who are deserved and deserved. Often, one blames his parents for what they do, but only blaming them is not enough for the healing of the person. Psychotherapy; It is very useful for the person to discover the reflection of his uncommon needs from childhood to adulthood and to see what he actually needs today. How to meet unmits in adulthood can be discovered with the help of a therapist.
The page content is only for informational purposes, you should consult your doctor for diagnosis and treatment.